Reminiscence

Woke up early today to have some prayers. Today's my grandfather's anniversary, so my cousins and uncles and aunts came over for prayer and breakfast. It's been a good 2 years since he passed away. I used to thought that I was like a bit cursed. Let me tell you why. It all started many many years ago, when I was in Primary 6. It's PSLE time and that's when my paternal grandmother passed on. I could still remember exactly when. It's the day before my PSLE English Oral Exams. Then just 4 years later, during my O Levels, my great grandmother passed away. I, too, can remember the exact day. It was the day before my Geography elective paper. I was really very panicky then. She passed on in the evening. Then we scrambled to prepare for the funeral. It's damn scary. I was damn sad at that time probably coz I have been living with my great grandma since birth, and thus was pretty close to her. So I was in no mood to study. But at the same time I didn't have time to study for my paper. So I busied my way through the night doing the preparations. It's only at around 3am, I began mugging like crazy before going to school at 7 for my paper. Thankfully she really blessed an A1 for me. And amazingly I topped the cohort for Combined Humanities (SS/Geog). Hahaha. 

Then another 2 years later, my paternal grandfather got a really bad heart attack during my A levels. Unfortunately he passed on only during the february after my A's. I also can remember exactly what and when it happened. It's the night before Bio Paper 3 for my A's. I was revising through my notes when my grandfather shouted for me. He had suffered quite a major heart attack. I too suffered a really great shock. I've seen how a patient suffering from heart attack looked like in TV programmes. But when it happened right in front of me, I was stunned. Screamed for my parents before running over next door to call my doctor neighbour over to assess the situation. He ran over and confirm the severity of the situation and my dad drove him straight to the hospital. My mum, bro and myself went over to the hospital too. It was damn scary. I had experienced how people moved on twice already and I was beginning to fear for the worst. I was actually prepared to skip my bio paper altogether already. I didn't really have the time and mood to study for it so I was really comtemplating dropping it. Anyway thank goodness my grandfather's condition stabilised, and I went home to wash up before going to school for the paper. Thank goodness I didn't drop the paper. My grandpa blessed me with another distinction.

But it was only in february that he passed on. The thing I was really touched about was the fact that although the doctor gave my parents the green light to take him home, coz he's time was almost up already, my grandfather refused to be discharged until I came over. I rushed back from Tekong and directly to the hospital. I was moved to tears man. I was amazed that hecould still recognise me. Yupz, So I took him home with my parents before he moved on the next day at home. I was really really sad, but loved as well.

That's why I always dread national exams coz I felt that I would like jinx some elderly in my family. thankfully my grandfather proved me wrong. I did mention to him about this before and I guess he really did correct my false beliefs.

I don't know why but I was always close to my paternal grand and great-grandparents. Yes I lived with them my entire life but it's more because my parents were always busy with work and didn't have much time to spend with me since I was born. hence, I grew this reliance towards my grandparents and great grandparents. And another key thing is that my parents were really strict and thus, I didn't dare to ask them for any presents or whatnot. The solution? My grandparents. Hahaha. They loved their grandchildren (or rather grandsons since incidentally all of us are guys) A LOT. Haha. And so do we. The simple acts of love by my grandparents that were really the moments that touched me the most and remain vividly clear in my mind years down the road. It could be just the act of frying an egg for breakfast or buying me a toy sword. That's what my grandma did for me. My grandpa was like a vintage techie. He loved his handphones. Haha. He could change handphones like once every 3 months. And each time he found a phone good, he would get another 5 more. Yes. Five more. One for each of us grandsons. Haha. That's why I was always blessed with good phones, not because I asked for it, but rather, he gave it to me because he found it good. I think he's so cute lah. Haha.

I think children today miss out on a lot, mainly because they live as nuclear families. The cost of living and change of culture of the society that we live in has altered people's expectations of family life. Couples adore time spent alone with each other, and dread grandparents nagging and ranting all their dissatisfaction out. As such, they lose the ability to interact with the elderly. This is what I saw when the kids did the newspaper/clothes collection for Go Green Day. When they talked to the elderly, they don't realise that the predominant language spoken by them in Chinese or dialect (mainly Hokkien/Teochew). And they do not know that chit-chatting with them can really make their day. Saying simple  thing's like '新年快乐' and '你好吗？' can really make them feel loved. And the best thing's that it doesn't cost you one bit saying it.

Maybe because kids today do not live with their grandparents, they lose the chance to learn an important language. Or rather, an entire culture. Take learning a chinese dialect as an example. When one learns it, they also learn the culture of the people they descended from. The mannerism, customs, etc. These are things passed down generations but are sadly being lost along the way, especially at my generation. For example, during my cousin's wedding, if not for my mum's and grandaunt's knowledge of wedding customs and procedures, it would have been a big mess. Whether or not we believe in these superstitions is one thing, but at least it will give us a sense of comfort and belonging. On a side note, some customary practices become redundant today, so it's necessary to trim in down to the most significant procedures such that the basic beliefs are observed, but not the extremely intricate and irrelevant details.

I guess it's on days like this that I get quite obsessed reminding myself of my past and everything. Probably because it's the few times that we cousins can get together and chit-chat. Anyway, there's this one thing that my mum and aunt said today that really made me quite emotional. "要是老爸（我的爷爷）还在的话，他一定很为他的孙子们骄傲... 个个都是大学生... 他一定到处炫耀的... 多威风喔... 要是他在活多两年就能当曾祖父了" This was actually my grandpa's wish. He wanted all of us to graduate from University, and wanted to be a great grandfather. Our grandparents' pride is based not on their children's success, but rather their grandchildren's. Too bad the latter can never come true, but I'm sure we will make his 1st wish happen. He was really proud of us, his grandsons. Haiz...