Relationships.

Actually it isn't as nice as the title sounds. I was in school think afternoon for the FYP safety briefing. Such a bore. I really shouldn't have gone for it. 3 hrs of travelling for 45 minutes of lecture. LOL. Anyway the other half of the afternoon has been really productive. Caught up with my 2 hrs lag of online lectures and completed my part for the lab report. Really awesome. I guess that's uni - quality over quantity.

Anyway my entire night's off coz I had to celebrate my grandpa's birthday. So yeps, I self-declared a break for myself away from work. Haha. Sounds pathetic isn't it? But come on, let's face it. That's life for you. Ok that's not the topic for today.

So back to the topic - Relationships. I just returned home from my grandpa's house. Anyway, I realized that over the years, I'm just growing increasingly apart from my cousins from my maternal side. Actually to be honest, we were never close to start with. But every time I meet them, I actually don't know how to talk to them. I think it's because our experiences are very different - the path we have taken in life, the people we meet, etc. It's like at this point, when I talk to my brother, it's usually about university, work, family and cars. Haha. But these are things that my cousins cannot relate to. So after a few exchanges, silence fills the air. Kinda awkward. At least between me and my bro, I'm the far more talkative one. But talking to my cousins, I kinda not know what to say. Haiz. Kinda sad isn't it? I end up talking more to my uncles and grandparents.

But the opposite applies to my paternal cousins. Since young, I've been really close to them, growing up with them, attending almost the same schools as them and everything. As such, we can talk about almost anything under the sun. And over the years, we just got closer and closer. Now, it's as if I've got 4 brothers (coz coincidentally all of them are guys). Really fortunate to have such a close relationship with them. As such, isn't it quite strange that there is such stark contrast in my relationship with my 2 groups of cousins?

Anyway I'm really thankful to have such an awesome family. Actually I can't really remember the time from which I started to treat my parents more like my friends rather than parents so to speak. I can also talk to them about anything under the sun. Really fun people to talk to. Actually, watching dramas, I always watch about favoritism in the family. But at least in my family, I never really felt unfairly treated although I'm the younger child. My parents really strike a good balance between both of us, so yea, I'm really thankful of that. I guess the key is communication and balance. Actually my bro's kinda the more quiet one, so he seldom talks to my parents. But this is balanced with me being the ultra talkative one. So the is still communication within the family. And of course, trust is key. From young, I trust that my parents will make the best choices, and know what is best for me. As such, I respect their choices. In return, they gave me more freedom instead. It's like a spiral, but an upward one. Now, they basically leave me to do whatever I want. They do have their expectations, but it's not something that most parents would prioritize. These include spending some time with them regularly, manners, etc. It has absolutely nothing to do with academics or anything like that. And I'm really thankful for that.

Ok, the second half of this post is basically dedicated to my friends. I really gotta apologize this time to my TMS family peeps. This year, I have been missing and ps-ing you guys so often for outings! Especially since the start of the holidays, I've basically MIA-ed, more often than not, coz I'm not in Singapore. I'm really damn sorry! And I really want to thank you guys for being so understanding! So paiseh sometimes. But yea, I really appreciate you guys! I actually can't remember how we clicked, but our friendship's like... 8 years old already! Really thank you guys for being such an important part of my life for the past 8 years! You guys are damn awesome people! I will try to up my attendance k! =D

Yeps, the same apply to army friends! Omg I'm damn apologetic too! I keep ps-ing you guys too! I really wanna meet up with you guys, but somehow the timing just doesn't fit! Omg. Cursed. Haha. I will organize a dinner very soon before the exam periods begin! I haven't met up with you guys in a long time! =(

And to my JC clique. Somehow I get to meet up with you guys a bit more often. Coz very often, we meet at some damn weird timing and somehow, we are free. Really funny. Like late at night for k and supper.. Haha. And probably coz we meet up mostly when the overseas peeps are back, so we pretty much prioritize. But yea, really appreciate you guys so much! Damn fun to hang around with you guys! =D

To think of it, we actually meet many people throughout of lives, still, good friends are something really precious. They don't come by easily, and we don't need many of them. All I need is a few good friends to be there when I'm down, or when I just need someone to talk to. In fact, many a time, we don't really remember how on earth we actually clicked. But that's the beauty of friendship isn't it? And the most awesome thing about good friends is that I can be myself when I'm with them. I think I don't exactly reveal my personality easily. I think if I don't smile, I look kinda hostile. Hahaha. At least that's what some people tell me. (But then again, I smiling most of the time, like a standard emoticon. LOL... but that's not the point.) And it doesn't take frequent meetings and outings to maintain the relationship. It's all about mutual understanding. I love my friends. =D

Almost there!

Yay, it's almost the end of the semester already! Time really flew by this semester - faster than ever. Haha. Mid terms are pretty much over. I did pretty decent this time round (Phew.. such a relief..). Anyway I finally found the time this week to settle my truckload of administrative stuff. Graduate school stuff, exchange stuff, module planning, etc. Super tedious and time consuming stuff.

Anyway for many months, I was pretty confused with all the possible paths to take, but talking to Prof Quek on Tuesday was the best thing I did in a long time! Haha. I have been MIA-ing since the end of the last semester as I was overseas throughout the holidays. So yeps, thought it was a good idea to drop by for a visit. Haha. He really helped me think through all my options and he sort of gave me a good idea of the path I should head towards. And sometimes I feel very paiseh because he actually goes to great extents to help me. Scholarship, job, career options, etc. He helps me with all of them. Really can't thank him enough. At least now I'm very sure of my future - it's like I've finally found my purpose in university. At every stage of my life thus far, I've always got a goal that I can strive towards, and it's exactly that that really motivates and drives me ahead. But somehow when I came to the university, I lost that goal. For the whole of the last 2 semesters, I've been studying pretty much for the sake of studying, and nothing else. I didn't know what I was studying for. But finally, I seem to have found something worth fighting for - and I really hope to see it through. A great sense of assurance and confidence. Great feeling. =D

I guess that I have been rambling a lot to my friends recently about how I hate my life in NUS, etc. But I have been thinking through. Perhaps my first year was really bad, as I hadn't met the right people and I suffered a lot trying to adapt to a burden so heavy too quickly. Somewhat doing too much for my own good. But this semester, life got very much better. In fact, my workload this semester is the worst to date. But at least I feel much happier. I guess there are a few factors. My research mentor and supervisors are awesome people. They really helped me a lot in terms of getting the hang of things, which made the transition less painful despite  such high expectations. And they are just really nice people to talk to! Haha. =D And I have been quite a bit of stuff for Operation Orion this year, although I'm not going overseas this year because of my NS reservice. Oh well can't be helped. But I've learnt quite a bit as the treasurer as well. Totally worth the work. And my enjoying it as well, meeting new and awesome people. Haha.

Oh well. After this week, it will be the mad sprint to the end. Or at least it should be. Somehow after coming to NUS, to me, exams aren't that big a thing anymore. It's definitely not something I will lose sleep over, or get stressed out over. Haha. I guess I've sort of understood the fact that if you haven't done your work consistently throughout the semester, the last week of mugging ain't gonna help one bit. But if you've done fine throughout, then you will be good. New attitude in life. Haha.

Ok this is a short update for now. Will be back if I have the time. =D